


The songs that you sing when you're all alone

by sloganeer



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Leeds - Freeform, Light BDSM, M/M, Post-The X Factor Era, baby boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 21:43:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1914876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sloganeer/pseuds/sloganeer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leeds was probably going to be the last time the two of them could be out in the world without being One Direction. Liam had said, when all the lads were hanging out at Harry and Louis' and their plans came up, that it was easier going out alone. "Zayn and I popped into Tesco the other day," Liam had said, "and it turned mental." They were less recognizable alone. More than one, and they turned into a boy band.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The songs that you sing when you're all alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cityzen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cityzen/gifts).



> This isn't the true story, but a story of two boys in love at Leeds.

"Do you have everything, H?" 

Mum had been hovering all week, ecstatic to have Harry back in his childhood bedroom, if only for a few days. He dropped the last of the camping equipment on the front walk and stepped up into his mum's arms where she was waiting in the doorway. It was nice to be home, nicer still to have a few days off from the band, even if she was driving him around the bend.

"You remember I've been camping before, right?"

"You remember I'm still your mum?" She held Harry by his shoulders and stared him down. He dropped his eyes. "Let me worry about a silly music festival because I'm not ready to worry about you halfway around the world."

In London, living with Louis and the rest of the boys down the hall, with meetings and recording and signings, it was easy for Harry to forget he was technically a kid. He wasn't supposed to be leaving home yet, and his mum hadn't been nearly ready to let him go. But Harry was ready.

He had been sleeping back in his tiny twin bed since Monday, and he missed Louis desperately. This house would always been his home, but life had changed too much. Now Louis, and their flat in the city, was where Harry belonged.

"It's only the weekend, Mum," Harry told her. He put his arm around her shoulders. He could do that now. They headed back inside the house to wait for Louis. "We'll be back on Sunday night. I bet Louis wouldn't say no to tea."

"I'll make a spag bol," she said.

"Yes," Harry said, pumping his fist. 

Harry needed something to distract him while he waited. He followed his mum into the kitchen and offered to dry the dishes she was washing. They didn't have long to wait before a horn sounded in the driveway. Louis had texted to say he was on his way, which was why Harry had dragged all the camping equipment out of the garage. Robin helped him get it all together last night, so all Harry and Louis had to do was pack up the car and go.

"That's Lou, Mum!" Harry jumped off the counter where he was waiting. He could see through the kitchen window from there, and he could see that Louis wasn't getting out of the car. Harry ran outside, leaving the door hanging open behind him.

He waved at Louis through the windshield. Louis looked up and waved back, but then his eyes went back down to his phone. Harry left his backpack at the door and stalked towards the quiet car. He yanked the passenger door open.

"Hello, love," Louis said, but he wasn't looking at Harry. He was looking down at his phone, like there was something more important in there than his boyfriend whom he hadn't seen in person in days.

Harry waited for a reaction. He stood waiting in the open door, wanting Louis to pay attention to him. The buttons of Louis' phone made click-click noises while he typed, and there was no music, so it was all Harry could hear. 

He huffed out a sigh, then climbed into the car, pushing the seat back so he could stretch his legs out in front of him.

"Now I can do this," Louis said, and he pounced, his phone landing with a thump, and Louis landing in Harry's lap so hard it made them both breathe out a sound. Harry opened his mouth to curse him out, but Louis was already diving into a kiss.

"Lou!" Harry squealed his name, hands flailing to get a grip around Louis and calm him down. "My mum is watching through the window."

"She knows we have sex, right?" Louis sat back, tall and straight-backed in Harry's lap. He let his hands fall from Harry's face to his shoulders where Louis could better keep his balance. "She knows we share a bedroom?"

"You know she knows," Harry said. "But she doesn't need to see me making out in my boyfriend's car."

Louis fell back into Harry, kissing his neck and pulling at the collar of his polo. "But you look so good in your boyfriend's car."

"You didn't get enough of this last night?"

"Phone sex is never enough, H."

They had whispered and grunted their way to orgasm only when Harry was sure his mum and Robin were asleep. He even hid underneath his duvet, like that would help muffle the noise of his whimpers while Louis shouted all the wonderful things he was doing to himself, back at their own, empty, flat in London. Harry had only been back in his mum's house for a few days, but it was a few days too many away from Louis.

Once Louis had sucked what felt like an impressive bite into Harry's neck, in the hollow where his shirt opened up, he sat back on Harry's lap, grinning, while his hands led down to Harry's flies.

"Don't," Harry warned him. He grabbed Louis around his waist and pressed their chests together, trapping Louis' hands. "My mum is watching, Lou."

"Then I'll pull around the corner, and you can pull me off."

Harry threw his head back against the seat and laughed. He loved this side of Louis, this insatiable side that had flicked on when they met and Harry hadn't been able to turn off. He felt it, too, sometimes, but Louis wanted it all the time. Harry wondered if that was what 19 felt like, or if it was just Louis being Louis.

"We have all weekend," Harry reminded him. He brushed the hair away from Louis' forehead and kissed him gently there. Louis slumped in Harry's arms, still hard against his thigh, but breathing slowly against his chest. 

"Let's just go," Louis said. "We'll get a hotel room and just shag all weekend."

"We can do that at home," Harry said, though it wasn't exactly true. The privacy of their own flat was a nice change from the X-Factor house, but their schedule had hotted up in the last few months. Harry felt it like the last moments on an escalator climbing towards an unseen floor, like preparing himself to be spit out into the great, and crowded, unknown. 

Leeds was probably going to be the last time the two of them could be out in the world without being One Direction. Liam had said, when all the lads were hanging out at Harry and Louis' and their plans came up, that it was easier going out alone. "Zayn and I popped into Tesco the other day," Liam had said, "and it turned mental." They were less recognizable alone. More than one, and they turned into a boy band.

This weekend was going to be mental, but Louis said it would take the fans longer to figure it out, spread over the two days. Harry was only too happy to agree. He wanted this so badly. Just one weekend to feel like a regular kid, done with college, and on an adventure with his boyfriend.

"I want to shag all weekend," Harry said. Louis looked up, his tongue peeking out between his lips. "And I want to see some bands play. That's the whole point of Leeds, right?"

"I suppose."

Harry had to wait for Louis to decide he was ready to get out of the car. He was a welcome weight in Harry's lap. They never cuddled like this at home. Louis preferred to curl up under Harry's arm where he still had his hands free for video games or texting. When Louis was ready, he lifted himself up, dropped a short kiss on Harry's mouth, then opened the car door, and stepped down. He offered Harry his hand, though Harry didn't need the same help getting out of the Range Rover. He had already shot up a foot in height. He was taller than Louis now, and neither of them liked it.

Louis held his hand and led Harry back into the house, like it was his own. 

"Hello, boys." Harry's mum was in the kitchen and called out as soon as the door opened. "I've just made tea." Knowing her, she would have made the Yorkshire they kept in the cupboard for Louis. Harry and his mum preferred English breakfast, while Gemma was on a hipster green tea kick at the moment. 

They had their tea first, with the biscuits Harry and his mum made yesterday, which caused Louis to make all kinds of inappropriate noises. "Make these for me next week, Haz," he said, leaning into Harry, while Mum pretended she wasn't watching them from the other side of the table.

He left Louis and his mum to talk while Harry packed the car. He knew it would never get done otherwise, and Harry was eager to go. It had been nice to come home. He hadn't really been back since he left for boot camp. Even over Christmas, he and Lou conspired to make sure they weren't apart for too long. So much had changed in Harry's life between X-Factor and now, but his mum's house was still a place Harry could call home.

"All done," he said, coming back into the kitchen where Mum and Louis were at the counter now. Harry's mum was cutting up sandwiches, and Louis was pretending he could juggle apples. 

"Hey, babe. How many of these do you want?" Louis asked. He held up an apple in each hand. 

"As many as will fit," Harry said. It didn't matter how many Louis put in the bag, Harry would eat them. It was one of his sneaky tricks to get Louis to eat enough fruits and vegetables--if Harry was eating something and offered him a bite.

Harry stepped up behind them, leaning around to give Louis a kiss on his cheek on the far side. It wasn't like they were hiding, but she was his mum. She didn't need to see everything.

"Car's all packed. What have you made for us?"

"Chicken salad," Mum said, wrapping the sandwiches in waxed paper before passing them off to Louis, who showed them off to Harry with pride. 

"With the leftovers from last night. I'm so jealous, Haz."

"Yeah?" Harry said. He took the sandwiches and finished packing the bag. There was an ice pack in there and a few bottles of water, as well as the apples and a banana for Harry. "What kind of cereal did you have for dinner?"

"It was Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and it was delicious." Louis crossed his arms over his chest. Harry leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Oh, sweetheart," Mum said, shaking her head. "H, didn't you leave him anything to eat?"

He stared at her, his mouth fallen open. Beside him, Louis snickered, holding a hand over his mouth, so Harry gave him an elbow in the stomach. 

"Really, Mum?"

"That bolognese recipe freezes quite nicely, you know." She turned to Louis then. "You just throw it in a pot, then boil up some pasta," she explained.

"See?" Louis said. "This is love." He stepped away from Harry to hug Harry's mum. They glared together with the same eyes. It was humiliating. 

Harry picked up the cooler bag and hefted it onto his shoulder. "I'm leaving. Mum, it's been grand. Louis, you're welcome to join me." Then he just left. He walked out of the kitchen and out of the house. He didn't need this from the two people who were supposed to love him most.

The silent treatment didn't even last until Harry made it to the car. As he stepped down off the stoop, a great weight landed on his back, Louis' arms around his neck. "Don't go."

"Of course I'm going to go," Harry said. He dropped their lunch and swung Louis around into a hug. "You're an arse," he said. They kissed against the hood, still hot from the drive and the sun. "Get in the car."

Mum was waiting in the open doorway. She was grinning, her hand shielding her eyes from the sun, as she watched them. Harry pulled away, embarrassed, but he didn't want to let go of Louis' hand. He only just got him back after a week apart. Louis walked with Harry to the front of the car, leaving him to say goodbye to his mum, but only after Louis gave him a pat on the ass.

"Stop it," Harry said. He knew Louis wouldn't.

"Bye, Anne!" Louis called. He waved over the open car door. "Thanks for tea!"

Mum waved her goodbye, too, before pulling Harry into a hug. "Take good care of him."

"Seriously, Mum. Why do you think I'm not?"

She laughed. "I'm teasing, H. I know you are." She held him between her hands. "I like these quiet moments when I get to see how much you two love each other."

Harry felt his face heat, and he had to pull away to bury himself in her chest. It was embarrassing, but it made him feel so grown-up. They were only 17 and 19, and any mum should be telling Harry to slow down and be careful.

"He told me how much he was missing you," she said. "That boy lives for you."

Harry looked up. She was smiling down at him. "I live for him, too," he said, nodding.

When Harry tried to step away, Mum wasn't ready to let him go. "We're gonna be late," he said.

"Be safe."

"Yes, Mum." Harry didn't have to reach up to kiss her cheek anymore. He was going to be taller than both her and Gemma soon.

"You know what I mean, right?" She stared him down.

"Mum!"

"I'm not ready to be a grandmother yet."

"I'm leaving!" Harry shouted, holding up his hand and racing for the car. He threw himself in the passenger seat and stared wide-eyed up at Louis, laughing himself sick. "Drive."

They didn't get far. Louis pulled the out of the driveway, and he went slow all the way out of the village, but once they left Holmes Chapel behind, Louis took a turn Harry wasn't expecting. He steered the car into an empty turn-off, a bit of dirt on the side of the road with tall trees around. They weren't hidden here, but traffic this early was light.

"You're planning something," Harry said. He couldn't see Louis' eyes, but he didn't have to. It was the energy in the car. Louis was getting ready to be bad.

Louis cut the engine. "Get in the back," he said. Harry tangled himself in his seat belt in his hurry to comply.

Once they were settled, Louis on top only because Harry had been the first to find his way to a seat, Harry thought to ask what was happening. "We're never gonna make it, Lou." Harry had been planning this weekend for months. He didn't want to miss a minute of the music or even one night alone with Louis in their tent.

"Then you better snog me, because I'm not driving anywhere until you get me off."

"You're the worst," Harry said, putting his hands on Louis' hips and reaching up into a kiss. He made it quick, not so quick that he couldn't enjoy the high noises in Louis' throat or take his time with his hand down the back of Louis' khakis. But once they were snogging, and Louis was grinding down in Harry's lap, it didn't take much to get them both off. This morning, all it took was Louis unzipping their trousers and taking them both in his long-fingered hand. Harry didn't even have a chance to warn him before he came across Louis' palm.

In the car on the side of the road, it was a lot like back in the X-Factor house. They had to make the most of their free time then, because they never had enough free time. Finding a place with a door that locked was the hardest, so Harry and Louis did it a lot like this. They snuck touches and kisses, rolled around on Harry's top bunk where no one could see that they weren't just wrestling.

But now they had their own place, their own time, and Harry had a whole weekend with his boyfriend.

"Thanks, love," Louis said, his head on Harry's shoulder, their fingers playing together in Harry's lap. "I didn't know I could miss sex like that."

Harry grabbed Louis' face to guide him into another kiss because he knew what Louis was actually saying.

"All right, all right." Louis laughed and twisted away from Harry, leaning backwards through the front seats, stretching his long body in front of Harry like a tease. He reached for the glove compartment and found an unopened package of wet wipes to clean them up. "Get yourself together. We need to get back on the road."

The rest of the drive was just fun and everything Harry hoped the next tour would be like. He couldn't wait for these long stretches of road, singing along to the radio with four voices to harmonize with, and this one next to him. Harry couldn't wait to try out tour bus bunk beds.

They ate the sandwiches while Louis drove, with Harry picking out big chunks of chicken and feeding them to Louis with his fingers. He shrieked when Louis bit his fingers; he cooed when Louis let his tongue drag along Harry's skin, chasing crumbs and mayonnaise. Harry ate his banana to tease Louis, with one deep dive, showing Louis how he could take the whole long thing down his throat.

"Behave," Louis warned him. His knuckles were white on the steering wheel. Harry didn't want to behave. He wanted Louis to punish him. He looked forward to it.

Harry reached blindly back into their lunch bag and found an apple. He juggled it in one hand, up and down, while Louis laughed at the spectacle. When Harry held it in front of Louis mouth while he drove, Louis gladly took a bite, juice running down his mouth for Harry to clean up with his fingers, sucking them clean of everything Louis would give him.

They weren't late by the time they arrived at Bramham Park, but a lot of other people were early. Harry watched from his open window the swirling lines of teenagers in big hats and little shorts, loaded down like pack animals, oblivious to the cars and looking for a place to camp. Harry couldn't wait. Louis grumbled under his breath the whole drive through the sprawling connected parking lots. Finding a spot for the Range Rover was an ordeal, especially because Louis didn't really want to leave it alone for the weekend.

"This is why we took your car," he said, pointing his grimace at Harry, like the traffic tangle was his fault.

"I thought it was because your twinky Porsche wouldn't make it through the mud."

"I know you love that car, Haz, so don't even try." Louis stretched his arm across the back of Harry's seat, craning his neck to check the blind spot. He backed them up around three cars fighting for the same parking spot and headed back the way they came. 

They had a lot of sex in that car. It wasn't as roomy as Harry's Range Rover, which had the back seat for those more adventurous nights (or mid-mornings on the side of the road), but Louis' Porsche was sexy. It was tight and compact, like him, like all of Harry's favourite parts of his boyfriend. 

Harry was knocked against the door once Louis spotted a parking space, yanking on steering wheel and just beating a red Toyota to the space. With the windows open, Harry heard the two girls in the car shout them down, and he saw the driver offer up two fingers through the windshield. Louis turned around and stuck his tongue out at them.

"Really?" Harry asked. 

Louis shrugged. "We're gonna be famous soon," he said. "Hafta get my jabs in now before I'm not allowed."

"Lou," Harry said. He watched Louis put the windows up and settle the car in for the weekend. "We're gonna be playing stadiums, and you'll still be sticking your tongue out at people."

With their seat belts off, it was easy for Louis to lean across the shifter and stick his tongue out at Harry, but Harry knew this was his way of demanding a kiss. So Harry kissed him. He grabbed the front of Louis' T-shirt and pulled him closer, chasing that tongue back into Louis' mouth and kissing him good before they have to get out of the car.

Before Harry left London, the band had a meeting. Just an hour or so on a weekday afternoon, just to go over the upcoming schedule, because they all had some time off, but big things were happening as soon as they got back, and management wanted to make sure everyone was ready. Harry was ready and excited, and when they went back to London, One Direction would be going back into the recording studio.

That's what Harry was excited for. He wasn't looking forward to more days like that weekday afternoon, when, as he was following Liam out the door, with Zayn and Louis running ahead, Niall chasing them and laughing, someone grabbed Harry's arm and held him back. Liam turned around immediately, sensing Harry wasn't behind him, asking with his eyes if Harry needed help.

Harry knew what was coming, so he shook his head. He knew Liam wouldn't be allowed to stay, no matter how much Harry wanted him by his side. He stepped away from the man in the suit as a woman in sensible heels stepped forward. She had a leather folder in his arms. She did something on the publicity side Harry remembered.

"Just a moment, Harry?" 

He nodded. 

"I understand you and Louis are going to the Leeds Festival next week." She waited for him to answer.

"Yes."

"That's fine," she said, holding her free hand up in a gesture Harry was noticing more and more recently. It was the same thing Paul did when the boys were walking through a crowd. It was a gesture to calm a barely-contained wild animal. "I only wanted to take this opportunity to remind you that your band is on the cusp of something very big. You're not famous yet, Harry, but next week, there will be people watching. People wanting to take photos with you." She was nodding as she spoke, and Harry found himself copying her. "And with Louis. With you and Louis," she said, very slowly.

Harry's breath caught in his throat. His hand clenched into a fist at his side. There had been a lot of conversations like this in the last six months. Conversations like this never happened when the rest of the band was in the room. Harry didn't even know how many conversations like this had happened since The X-Factor ended. He knew Louis hadn't told him about them all. He knew when someone had talked to the other boys, the way Zayn went scary quiet, the way Liam got angry and focused, the way Niall stopped smiling.

"I understand," Harry said. He moved himself towards the door. "I know. I can talk to Louis. You don't need to talk to him." 

"I knew I could count on you, Harry." She smiled, but Harry could only see her dark eyes. "I know how much you want this."

Harry nodded, and he didn't say anything as he opened the door and left, walking fast before they could call him back. He didn't want this more than he wanted Louis. That was what they didn't understand, and that was why he was going to be famous, and they would still be here, in these dead rooms, scaring boys and girls like him into hiding for a little bit of money.

Harry didn't talk to Louis, and he didn't let Louis pull away from his hand when they got out of the Range Rover. There were so many kids in Leeds this weekend, no one would ever notice two boys from the third runner-up X-Factor band. 

"Harry, I need my hand to open the boot." 

He smiled over at Louis, leaning in for one more quick kiss, just a dry press of his lips against Louis' cheek, prickly because he didn't shave that morning. Harry wanted one more before the crowds spotted them and Louis pulled away.

It wasn't a lot of equipment. They both hefted their backpacks onto their shoulders, and Harry carried the tent and the air mattress. Hopefully, it would be big enough for them to share. Louis grabbed one sleeping bag and tossed Harry the other one. He didn't mind. 

Louis led the way through the parking lot, the long journey to the camping site where they would find a spot to set up the tent. Harry followed behind, lost in the faces and the music he could already hear in his head. 

"Here, Harry." He pointed, dropped his bag to the ground, and sat on it. "I think the tent should go here."

"Sure thing, Lou."

He pulled everything out of the bag and laid it out between two other tents. Louis said it look fine. He said it looked small. Louis continued with "Why is it sagging in the middle like that?" and "Hold it steady, Haz." Harry set up the tent, despite Louis’ instructions, and it only took them fifteen minutes. 

They dropped their bags inside and changed into their brand new gum boots. Harry unrolled the air mattress and let it fill, but Louis was impatient to head out, so they left their sleeping bags in the corner and zipped up the tent. Harry was last out, and Louis held out his hand to help Harry up to his feet.

"Nice boots, Tomlinson," Harry said, squeezing their hands between him.

"I like yours, too, Styles." 

They had bought them together, in London, while running a few errands for the house and their trip. Louis spotted them in the window, but Harry decided they had to have them. They each picked their own colours, and though they didn't match, Harry said it counted. "We complement each other, Lou." Louis grinned like he agreed. 

Louis walked ahead, leading the way like always. Harry pulled his beanie down over his ears and jogged to catch up. He bumped his shoulder against Louis' and reached down to tug Louis' hand out of his pocket. Harry wanted to feel their fingers tangled together. Only a few people milled around the camping area; most of them were already out at the stages. Already Harry could hear the far off beat of drums and the sound of the crowd cheering for more music. He was getting to know what that sound felt like in his heart.

But when Harry grabbed for Louis' hand, Louis pulled away. He jerked away, actually, twisting his body away from Harry's and looking over his shoulder with a glare.

"We shouldn't," Louis said, his face softening. Harry felt tears welling in his eyes, and Louis obviously saw them, too. He moved closer to Harry, offered up a careful smile, then slung his arm across Harry's shoulders. That was safe. Two best friends were allowed to walk around with arms over shoulders, but try it any lower, try to hold his hand, and they would be hearing from management. 

Harry knew that. But he wanted it more. Sometimes, when the feelings were too much, when it felt like his heart was too tight, when the only thing Harry could do was clench his hand into a fist, he thought maybe he wanted it more than Louis.

"There'll be fans." Louis said it with a frown that Harry couldn't help but mirror back to him. Fans were supposed to make them happy. When they were still doing The X-Factor, walking past the crowds of girls gathered outside the studio was the best part of Harry's day. He knew then, even if they didn't get the votes, they had the fans behind them. 

"Harry." Louis said his name like he almost never did. It was always a nickname from Louis. Harry liked some of them more than others, but he loved them all because they were Louis' secret way of saying "I love you" when he wasn't allowed to say the words out loud. "We just have to be careful." 

Management got to him after all. Harry wasn't enough to save Louis from those dead rooms and scare tactics. 

"We're gonna hafta be careful for the next three years, Lou." Harry made himself small under the curve of Louis' arm. He wanted to make himself small enough to fit inside Louis' pocket. "This might be our last chance."

They walked in silence, ducking around the puddles already making the field muddy, and the tents and clusters of people make it hard to navigate. Harry tripped over his feet twice, unsure in his new gumboots, but Louis held tight, and Harry didn't fall. The first time, Louis tugged him closer, their hips brushing warm together. The second time, Harry stepped in front of his other foot on purpose, just to see what Louis would do next. He didn't grab Harry's hand, like Harry was hoping for, but Louis didn't let go either. 

Louis pulled his new aviator sunglasses down from his hair and steered them around a compound of three tents, covered in the middle with a big blue tarpaulin, making a kind of outdoor blanket fort. With his arm draped over Harry, with Harry tiny by Louis' side, they must have looked like the coolest couple on campus. That was what made Harry smile to himself. He shoved his hands in his hoodie pocket and hummed happily under Louis' arm.

"Is this enough?" Louis said, tentative. Harry wanted to kiss him and tell him he was a good boyfriend. He knew when Harry was unhappy, but he also knew exactly what to do to make Harry preen. This was enough right now, walking close with Louis and touching where people could see them. It was enough because Harry knew what they were going to do in the tent later.

Muse was on stage by the time Harry and Louis found their way to the main stage. The music was heavy and slow, and in the pit of people, where the two of them could better hide, Louis let his arm drop from Harry's shoulders only long enough to fall down to his hip and move Harry to stand in front of him. Harry craned his neck to protest--he was taller than Louis now, and Louis wouldn't be able to see--but Louis just shook his head.

He stepped close, pressing his chest to Harry's back, and his hands danced along the edge of Harry's hoodie until they sneaked underneath and up his shirt to rest along bare skin. Harry leaned his head back to Louis' shoulder. This was perfect. This was exactly what Harry wanted, exactly what Louis could give him, and when he dared a look around at the crowd, not a single person was looking at them.

Muse played on.

They stood like that until Harry couldn't stand it anymore. Through Elbow's set, Louis traced symbols over Harry's belly, long curving lines, hearts, stars, and something Harry suspected was Louis' own autograph, written with his fingers on Harry's skin. The music stretched out long and slow, but that was how Harry felt, too. When it picked up, fast and driving, he had to dance. He didn't want to leave Louis' arms, but Harry's feet wanted to move. His hips wanted Louis' guidance. His body wanted Louis' body pressed against it, head to toe.

By the time Taking Back Sunday was thanking the crowd, Harry was exhausted, sweaty, and constantly fixing his hair to keep it out of his eyes. Louis was laughing, his eyes bright and his mouth bitten raw red. He looked like he had been snogged all night, but Harry knew better. He knew Louis was his, and he felt how they worked each other up. By the time Louis put his arm around Harry's waist, lower in the dark because the dark was safer, Harry was ready to leave. 

He had his music. Now he wanted the night Louis had promised him.

The walk back to the tent was harder than the walk to the stage that afternoon. Once they left the crowds and the lights, they had to navigate their way by the red tips of cigarettes, the dying lanterns, and the flickering torches of the others looking for their own tents. Louis' fingers squeezed Harry's side through the fabric of his hoodie, a reminder not to stray too far. They didn't want to lose each other. Not when they had come so far and still had the night ahead of them.

Harry had been half-hard since their roadside tug earlier, when Louis had shocked his orgasm out of him and left him wanting for so much more. The music and their closeness had only added to Harry's arousal, and now, with Louis so much closer in the safety of the dark, Harry had to reach down and adjust himself in his pants. He felt damp, even through his trousers. Louis wouldn't have to do much to make Harry come. He imagined it would happen before Harry's back hit the air mattress.

Louis leaned into Harry, his lips brushing against Harry's ear, and he said, "Baby." Harry's knees buckled, but Louis was right there with his arm under Harry's and around his waist. "You're so ready, aren't you?"

He nodded frantically, his hair flopping forward again, and his stomach flipping summersaults as he thought about what might happen next. Harry spotted their tent first, even in his blurry-eyed state. Louis wasn't paying attention to the path in front of him. Louis was watching Harry. 

With his hands firm on Harry's hips, Louis trailed a line of kisses from his ear, down his jaw, ending with a smack on his lips. "Stay right here," Louis said. "Are you good to stay here?"

Harry nodded.

"I'm going to make up our bed, and I need some room to prepare." Louis gave him a secret smile, all the dirty thoughts sparkling in his eyes. Harry groaned because he couldn't even imagine what Louis had planned for him. "Good boy," Louis said.

He turned away from Harry, and he bent over to unzip the tent, giving Harry a not-unwelcome view of his bum in his baggy khakis. The fabric pulled tight over Louis' backside when he moved like that. Harry wished he could see Louis move like that all the time. With a final grin up at Harry, Louis disappeared into their tent.

Alone, in the flickering dark, the smell of marijuana swirling around his head, Harry struggled to stay on his feet. He swayed to the last notes of the last song of the last band of the night. This far out from the stage, it only sounded like noise, but to Harry's ear, he could hear how it could be a song. He could hear his own lyrics to match the melody in his head.

He might have stood there for hours, but Louis was back with a hand on his cheek, directing Harry's attention back to his face. Just that touch was enough to pull Harry up from where he was floating on music.

"I'm right here, darling," Louis said. He reached his other hand down between their bodies, brushing against the bulge in Harry's trousers, but not enough to tease. Only enough to remind Harry why they were both excited about this trip. "I'm going to take good care of you."

Harry knew it to be true.

Louis took Harry's hand in his, weaving their fingers together, holding Harry like Harry wanted to hold him when they left the tent hours ago. It was easier in the dark. Harry hated that it was easier in the dark, but if everything about his life was going to be harder on the road, he would take easier right now. This was what they were allowed to give each other, and Harry would take it.

He let Louis guide him into the tent, where Harry could see their two sleeping bags zipped together, the top turned down and the pillow wrapped up in one of Harry's soft plaid shirts. The whole thing looked perfect, even better than their bed at home. 

"Lou," he said, because Harry had to say something. He couldn't keep his love inside anymore.

"It's good?" Louis asked.

They were on their knees in the open flap of the tent, and when Harry dived forward to kiss Louis' mouth, everything unbalanced backwards until he was on top of Louis on the air mattress. They wrestled together with kisses and uncoordinated thrusts, pulling apart to rip their clothes off, then coming back together in the middle of their perfect bed. The sleeping bags smelled like last summer's campfires, but Harry wanted to roll him and Louis in the smoke until they both smelled the same.

"I--" Harry could barely make his mouth form words. "I need it, Lou. I need you."

Louis tugged on Harry's thighs, spreading his legs and wrapping them around Louis' own waist. He arranged Harry on his back like that, and using his hands on the air mattress on either side of Harry's head, Louis leaned down into a kiss. Harry tried not to buck up, but he was desperate for Louis' touch.

"You have me," Louis said, and then he kissed Harry's mouth. He made it wet, like he knew Harry liked. He made it hard, like he knew Harry needed. He made it long, like they hadn't been able to kiss for hours. Because it had been hours. It had been days before Louis came to pick up Harry in Holmes Chapel, then hours in the festival crowd, and now they were here, together in their tent, zipped up away from the rest of the world, where they could kiss, and no one else could see.

When Harry stretched his arms over his head, Louis grabbed his wrists together and held them. That made Harry go stiff. He didn't know they were doing that tonight, but now that Louis had made the first move, Harry wanted it. He nodded against the pillow, locking eyes with Louis to let him know that Harry was okay. 

Louis lifted Harry's head with a hand supporting his neck, and he pulled the plaid shirt out from under them. Now Harry understood. They weren't using the shirt as a pillowcase. Harry's shirt would be the thing tied around his wrists tonight while Louis fucked him.

"Yes," he said, straining to reach a piece of Louis for a kiss. "Yes, Lou. Yes, I need it."

Shuffling up the bed on his knees, Louis straddled Harry's chest and leaned over his head to tie one long sleeve of the plaid shirt around one of Harry's wrists. Then he used the other sleeve to tie Harry's two wrists together. It wasn't tight, but it never needed to be. It was a symbol more than a restraint. Harry needed only the promise to behave himself, and Louis knew that.

"While I'm up here," Louis said, trailing off as his fingers danced down Harry's arms, over his shoulder and chest. He inched closer to his dick, and Harry watched as Louis got hard in his own hand. "Wanna taste?" Louis asked.

Harry let his mouth drop open. He wanted to grab hold of Louis' hips to drag him closer, get his hands on Louis' ass to squeeze and pet while he sucked, but his hands were tied. Harry whined when he realised he couldn't move, not with his shirt wrapped around his wrists and Louis sitting on his chest.

"Let me, okay?" Louis' hand twisted around his dick, skimming a palm over the head and spreading slickness up and down the long length. Harry's mouth water with his want to taste. Louis tasted so different from Harry. Where Harry's come was sweet with how much fruit he ate, Louis' had a saltier, muskier taste that Harry loved. He watched the clear fluid drip from between Louis' fingers. Harry felt it on his chest and Louis in his head.

Louis said, "Open up," even though Harry was already waiting for him. He sat up on his knees to give himself more leverage over Harry's mouth. Louis guided his cock closer, rubbing the sticky head over Harry's tongue, teasing him with the taste, before shoving in almost too far. Maybe with anyone else it would have been too far. But this was what Harry and Louis did. Louis pushed, and Harry took it. Harry liked it.

His eyes fell shut, so Harry's senses were forced to focus on Louis' cock in his mouth. Only the feel of soft skin over hardness and the salt of Louis' precome on his tongue. It was delicious, and Harry sucked it down as Louis thrust deeper and deeper. He never pulled back far enough to give Harry a reprieve. He slowed down, he let Harry find a rhythm, then Louis shoved himself back down Harry's throat. The pain was exquisite, and all the more with Harry's hands tied up.

Without the freedom to touch Louis and guide Louis, Harry was at his mercy. He wasn't in control. All Harry could do was relax his throat and keep sucking until Louis gave him what he wanted. 

It didn't take long.

It was probably the day, their separation, the heat, the tent, the intimate closeness of nighttime and darkness, but Harry felt Louis' hips stutter above his chest, and he felt Louis' cock pulse in his mouth, and in the next moment, he felt Louis shoot down his throat. The first volley of salty stickiness hit the roof of Harry's mouth, shocking him into his own pleasure, but it wasn't enough. His own cock lay forgotten behind Louis' back, pathetic and pining against Harry's belly, desperate for a little attention. 

"Fucking Christ, Haz." The raspy expletive filled the tent, alongside Harry's muffled moans and their sleeping bags shuffling against the vinyl of the air mattress. Harry thumped his feet on the hard floor to get Louis' attention and his hand on Harry's cock. "I need a minute, baby. You're too good." Louis rolled off of Harry's chest and curled up beside him on the sleeping bag. He tested the knots around Harry's wrists, and with his other hand, he pulled at Harry's wet, pink lips. "You're so good to me," he said, nuzzling his nose along Harry's cheeks. Harry imagined he must be blushing red all over. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure I deserve you," Louis said.

Harry whined at him. He couldn't make words yet. His throat felt too sore, raw and burning, but Harry had to say something. He wanted to say "I love you," because it was the only thing he could think to say when Louis showed him like this how much he loved Harry. Louis didn't always say the words, but that was okay. Louis said other words. Louis held his hand in the dark. Louis was careful with Harry, and when Harry felt Louis' cool, dry hand wrap around his aching cock, he knew that things were going to be okay.

"Now you get to come," Louis said, and Harry did. His orgasm was a bright spark of pleasure, and it filled their tent with love and music, but the only thing Harry could hear was Louis' voice in his ear.


End file.
